new.

and another one...

I'll probably make myself another myspace again too. It's fun making new things. Haha.

don't think i'll stop being tired for a while.

Lately, I really feel like I'm reaching my breaking point. Yesterday I was sitting in the classroom after school and I almost started crying.

I am exhausted.

I miss my first cooperating teacher. As much as I like my current one [as a person], I just don't feel the support from her. I feel like she's pushing everything on me so that she can take care of her personal life. I have no one in the classroom to model good teaching. Yes, I am a student teacher, but this is STILL a learning experience. We still need to watch our cooperating teachers teach! If the point was for us to just take over a class and be left on our own, then what would be the point of having a cooperating teacher?

I don't know. I feel like all I do is complain. I really do love my kids. I love teaching them. But I just feel like I'm getting no positive feedback, or any at all for that matter. I'm probably going to talk to my supervisor tomorrow, just to vent.

Ugh, I'm frustrating myself because I feel like there is no point at even saying any of this at this point. All I can do is count down the days.... and just keep pushing through.

honestly.

Honestly, lately I've been feeling like I'm not doing my best. This whole quarter flew by, I can't believe Monday will be my Winter Quarter Exit Conference.

I was thinking to myself, have I really improved since last quarter? Have I done what I said I was going to work on? Have I really fulfilled my Fall Quarter goals?

Honestly, I like the kids in my second placement and I love my new cooperating teacher.. but I've been feeling like I spent this past month just going through the motions. It's hard coming into a new environment when the class and the teacher have already established a class community before you even showed up. I'm lucky that my kids are for the most part well-behaved and that they don't have an attitude with me, but I just feel as though my classroom management has gone out the door.


Honestly, student teaching is mostly being someone else's you-know-what. At the end of the day, no matter how "supportive" they are, no matter how "good" you are.. it's their classroom. But you just have to suck it up and get through to the end of the year. Is it June yet?

I feel so tired and weak lately that everything just gets to me. I'm extremely sensitive, more than usual! So even the smallest bit of constructive criticism just sends me feeling.. bleh.

I've just been focusing on the fortune cookie I had one day that said: Your hard work will pay off soon. When I first got it, I knew it would be my motivating quote of the year. It's what keeps me going to the next day. Don't get me wrong, I love what I do (actually more like will do in my own classroom!), but this quarter just sucked the life out of me.

The past two weeks were extra stressful with my Math PACT due and our Integrated History-Social Science/Literature Unit due.

Until last night, I did not sleep more than 3 hours every night. I was about to break down. But I feel much better now. Got to see friends and relax.. and then sleeeeep last night.

Woke up this morning feeling good that I didn't have a THING to worry about.
My mom and dad are here visiting and that makes me happy.
And if this day couldn't get any better....

I check my e-mail. This is what my supervisor said:

Laura,
You’ve done a truly outstanding job in preparing this unit! I’m very proud of your
product and you should be also. You’ve shown me that you understand how and when to use a variety of strategies and activities to ensure that your students understand what life in Ancient Egypt was like. Good job of including Kagan Cooperative Learning Strategies.

Enjoy your weekend. Not only did you finish on time, it's an outstanding job. Thank you for taking the time to develop such an excellent product!

Honestly, I really needed to hear this. :)

good/bad news.

Good news: I'm finished with my Math PACT! Yay! Thanks to Nay, Jeremy, Ruriel, and Richie for being there as I finished it up. Big weight off of my shoulders.

Bad news: Beat Freaks didn't win. :( I just checked mtv.com since I missed the show. Ugh, disappointing.

But anyway, the good news outweighs everything! Ah!!!!!! Now I just have to wait and see if I pass. Pray!

Let me leave you with a funny video to keep you busy until I post next time...

neverending.

No matter how much I feel like I'm getting done... I still feel so behind in all of my work. :( I know I'm not, but my goodnesssss this quarter went by fast.

Okay, I said I would update about my new students...

Man, are they different from my little second graders. It's tough dealing with 36 students, but my DCT said, "at least you can tell that they like you." I can't imagine these kids not liking me; it would be even more stressful.

On top of that, the students are learning at such different rates. In 2nd grade, they're all pretty much on the same level (except for the few that just seem to know a little more than others). But by the time they get to 6th, you have students who are reading at a 3rd grade level, students who should be in GATE, students who don't want to do anything, and students who get lost in the mix.

It is not easy. I never said it was, right? Haha. It's tough, but everyday I learn something new... and everyday I feel that this is what I should be doing.

I just need to get grad school out of the way!!! Bleh.


Alright, enough of that. You will just have to wait for more updates in like two more months. K thanks. :)

it's february?

Oops. I haven't been posting, I know. I said January would be hectic!

Too much happened in January that I will just do quick updates:

- I left my little 2nd grade babies behind. :(
- Today I met my 6th graders. [I will write more about them in a later post].
- My videotaping for my Math PACT Teaching Event went well, now I just have to write the 30+ pages of commentary about planning the lessons, assessing, reflecting, etc. :/
- Bowser is doing good. He's gonna get the n-word next week!
- My grandma turned 90 last month! Crazy, huh?!


Okay, that's enough for now. I shall return for an update on my 36 new students!

earthquaaaake.

So I was sitting inside Watkins Hall for our technology class meeting when everything started shaking. We all just sat there like.. "oh, we're shaking..." Haha. No one moved except for one girl who jumped up and was about to start running. It was pretty funny. Our instructor decided that we should record our experience on the U.S. Geological Survey Earthquake Hazards Program website. Apparently, they use the information that people send in to help determine the magnitude of the earthquake. Pretty cool, go there and fill it out.

Okay, now on to the bigger news... I found out today that I am going to be teaching 6th grade for my second placement! Just as I wanted before.. a big jump, and a big challenge. Of course I anticipate that I will complain and wish that I could have it easier, but now is the time for me to experience students at different ages and see what I really want to teach. I'm pretty scared [for lack of a better word] to teach 6th because the curriculum will be different than what I'm used to, but I never know.. I might end up really loving it.

Since in 6th grade they are learning about World History in Social Studies, that's what my big unit of 26 lessons will be on. Hopefully that will be fun. Haha. Just thinking about it all day long while we talked about the requirements in class today was not.


Alright.. time to write lesson plans. Next week is when I get videotaped for my Math Teaching Event. <--- The "make or break"/ "high-stakes" / pretty much deciding factor of whether I will recieve my credential or not [in addition to passing my classes]. Ah!!!!